without me you got it all, so hold on.

Don't have unrealistic hopes.

If you pull at strings, hold onto words from sentences that could (could being the operative word) have meaning behind them, imagine up magical looks between people, assume a certain number of kisses at the end of a text actually makes a difference, then you've got unrealistic hope. The kind that you hold on to for dear life just because don't realise that not letting it go is just going to hurt more in the long run, rather than having a little bump along the way. It's very rare that people enjoy hurting your feelings no matter what the circumstances, so they will leave you with false shreds of hope in order to make situations less awkward. You have to work out who these people are, how these false promises come across and how to decipher who is just trying not to have to deal with the mess they're leaving behind by getting your hopes up for something that may never happen. Once you do this, you still don't want to believe it. So you play pretend. Don't, it's not fun and it's not clever. You will just hurt more.

If you ask me..

When you actually love someone, it isn't about gestures and gifts, grand displays of affection, cute good morning or goodnight texts, who gets the best valentines day present etc. It is my own personal opinion that when you actually love someone, they are the person who doesn't need to say anything when things are at absolute rock bottom, who doesn't necessarily need to have a way with words or some way to help counsel you through your issues, they just are there. They don't have to say anything special, they are just them, and knowing that and that alone somehow can half any problem you might have.

But that's just my opinion, and who am i to speculate?

.

I think the worst thing about having a big secret, is that people always find out, always.

When push comes to shove, i've done a lot of things in my life that i shouldn't have, but this was something much bigger, much bigger than me or anyone else in my life. I will never look back and think "good decision", i will never ever. Because in reality, i despise every part of my being for what i did. I hate it. And now people, even if it is only a few know, it's not right. And although people sympathise, you can't understand it. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but nothing anyone says can make that better. There's no way doing it. Every day, you see constant reminders of it. And i am sickened to my stomach. Want my advice? Seriously think about what that next step that you're taking is going to do to your life.

Lets have a coffee and a catch up.

It's 00:49 on the 23rd of July.

In roughly 12 day and around 6 and a half hours i will receive my exam results. SHOCKA. Two B's to get into Aberdeen, one B to get into Stirling. EEP. Fingers crossed for all that malarky. If i don't get in i'll travel and see the world. Might even still defer my place and do that. Who knows eh?

Happily in love. FUCK DA HATERZ! He makes me a better person and never fails to make me smile. Job done.

My friends are all over the shop. I love them. Not all of them are all quite right, but hey ho, neither am i! BOOYA.

My medication is slightly problematic, but not enough to stop me BABEH! I get tired and my emotions go sky hiiiiiiigh, but what of it?! Things could be a lot worse.

All round things are pretty good, nothing's ever perfect. But that doesn;t mean there's not always a bright side. Love ya's.

No matter what...

My friends are the most important thing in my life and i will back them no matter what. Nothing means more to me. No bitches sly comments will ever stop me. My friends are the best. No discussions about it.

one seven

Seventeen baby!

Look out for me on the roads!

The big one.

Two days time, it'll have been a year. Still find it cute that it was on new years. We've had our ups and downs through the year, but we love each other, and we got through them.

I'm not scared to say i love him even though i'm supposedly too young to feel such strong feelings. Because like they say "when you know, you know!"

I light up when i see him and i know that no matter what, i can go to him with anything.

Stefan Brzeski. You are my superstar.

When you were battling against your illness at such a young age, you were always smiling and keeping us cheery. You give me hope.

We miss you buddy.

Password.

I love my password, it's like two years old and reminds me of old times. Person in question may not mean much now but they did at the time and that's what it's all about isn't it?

I was gonna make a new one but what's the point? 1) I'll just end up forgetting it. and 2) i'm not sad or upset about that part of my life, it was fun.

So to that person, i'll always have a wee soft spot for you, and this will always remind me of that.

Winter

Snow has made me a hostage in my own home. What has my sorry, sorry life become?

NAAAT. loving it.

Back to back inbetweeners, never mind the buzzcocks and russell howard's good news.

These boring days are becoming great.

Missing ma gals though. all da fongz in dis world ar not been pinged LOL.

(fuck me, i'm 16 years old and i'm talking like that. is there no hope?!)

"Peace out suckaaaas!"

Personal Statement

I was thinking of writing roughly something like this....

"Pick me"

I'll see how that goes.

Uni

Scariest thoughts ever. Exactly how are we supposed to know what to do with life at 16. Screw the system and all it stands for!

Saturday

Chocolate brownie.

Disney Channel.

House to myself.

Hollister website.

Nail Polish.

cool.

gimmee some...

Twin Atlantic.

Take a hand and hold on tight 'cos
This is what we'll do, we'll stick together.

song and a half.

schoooool

If it weren't for about five people there i would be well and truly insane!

hmm

oh lord....

what to do?

Gemma you silly silly child.

But i had fun!

6

Time sure flys when you're having fuuuuun!

Six brilliant months, roll on many more :)

Listen

Kylie Minogue - All the Lovers.

Now that's a song :)

To all those.....

-who think badly of themselves, you are brilliant.

-who don't like the way they look, you are beautiful.

-who feel alone, you alway have me.

-who need a shoulder, it is right here.

I think it's my turn to give back now :)